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Phil Kelly
{K:120} 5/3/2006
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Steve,
Thanks for your critique and the idea for cropping and distortion. As I mentioned to some other critiquers, this was done as a project just to show some sort of "keys". I kinda liked the critical focus but I can see your point, too.
Regards,
Phil
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Steve Aronoff
{K:18393} 5/3/2006
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Old typewriters are so lovely, perhaps especially the keys, that it's really tempting to find a way to highlight their beauty. Yours is a nice attempt, Phil, but in the final analysis I think the photo lacks focus. I think the problem is that with the shallow focus you bring our attention to a very few keys, but I'm not sure what it is you want me to see. Why those keys? The others look just the same. These are the kinds of thoughts that go through my head.
I think you could do a really nice job by focusing in on a limited set of the keys. This would show us the keys and still maintain some of the red velvet background. You'd lose none of the old feel. I've mocked up a suggested change below. I used distortion to arrange the keys differently and cropped aggressively. See what you think.
Steve
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possible option |
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garibe ashena
{K:511} 4/12/2006
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very nice
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Lester Tradelbloom
{K:3291} 4/2/2006
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Thet's ok Phil, I'm always happy to help out a fellow photographer. I'm not sure how familliar you are woth PS, but if you'd like, I could run through a short tutorial on watermarking with you. My e-address is if you're interested. Have a wonderful day,
- Justin
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Phil Kelly
{K:120} 4/1/2006
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Thanks for the excellent advice, Justin. I probably should have removed the text before I downloaded it here. I used this image in a local photo critique group and we are required to put our id on each entry. You are right about the distraction. I need to look into the "watermark" idea.
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Lester Tradelbloom
{K:3291} 4/1/2006
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Nice work phil, I like the shallow depth of field in this image the most I think, it really helpt to define the foreground. I think it all falls into place beautifully - BUT - the text you have in the upper left corner drags your image through the dirt. I don't know whether you've done this simply for security on usefilm or not, but it is very distracting. If you are really worried about people knocking off your images, just watermark them in PS - looks far more attractive and are almost impossible to remove.
Great photography Phil,
- Justin
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Diego Bullita
{K:17017} 4/1/2006
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hi Phil,
beautiful details for this subjet,
regards
diego
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