City - Plymouth, Medicine Lake State - MN Country - United States
About
(Dear Usefilm reader the following is not suitable for photographers under 12 and those whose sense of humor is stunted. Also reading my earlier Art Shack {in my Every Picture...portfolio} series would help immensely.)
Pierre Johannson approached the 2007 Art Shack competition a new man. An artist reborn from depths of pain and sorrow of last’s year’s missteps. He had cut down to only two grande latte espresso Starbucks a day except for Sunday when he would also get a Komodo Dragon Blend® with heavy cream as an added reward for his restrained behavior. He had reunited with Fiona, who had recanted from her lesbian fling with Pierre’s step sister Svenella, assuring Pierre that it was a temporary exploration of her feminine sexuality. Pierre’s injuries from last years assault by Renee Ringewurminoff were a thing of the past, the new penal implant seem to restore his manhood to past glories and being in the coma for a week made him free of the memory of destroying the Fenster Fuller’s finely formed but foresoth failed finished masterpiece. His only concern was Fiona who seemed to take just a little too much interest in the View, The Ellen show and the LPGA tour in her TV viewing, but therapy was helping him cope with this issue.
With this new sense of purpose and respect for his fellow artist, he was ready to join in community bonding and love to contribute again to the Art Shack project. His entry this year was a transulscent shell with LED lights and disco ball and 24 hour mp3 looping of Bee Gee hits all powered by wind power and heated by methane gas produced by decaying algae from beneath the ice of this art shack. But please not just an art shack but a love shack as well. For within the seemingly modest structure of two by fours and Plexiglas panels was a revolving futon, plush tempur pedic pillows, incense and oils from the Fantasy House, the home of the mid-life orgasm, and Velvet curtains on clearance from Sam’s Club. This would be his bubble of love to consummate his renewed relationship with Fiona. He had tried earlier, but Fiona insisted he still needed time to recover and reruns of the Rosie O’Donnell show or Baywatch (she claimed she was a huge Hasselhoff fan) always seem to be on at the wrong time.
But tonight, there would be no TV or distractions. He warmed the shack using the Methane heater to full power. He brought his favorite wine in a box and the two pound box of Cheese-its, yet another find at Sam’s, and used up half a can of Axe cologne to make this a night to never forget. After half a box of wine and Cheese-its, Fiona had seemed to warm up to the charms of the Pierre palace and passion progressed ahead. The kissing had accelerated to Pierre’s native French version, when wishing to take a breath of air; Pierre was horrified to realize his tongue had become attached to Fiona’s pierced lip due to temperatures not rising above the freezing mark which had been masked by artificial warmth of Merlot in a box. Pierre in a panic grabbed a nearby candle, pouring wax onto the attached tongue muscle, which, though freed his tongue; made him scream in banshee-like manner and he threw the candle tragically albeit accurately onto the Methane heater and….. Well dear reader, think Hindenburg and I believe you can imagine the rest.
There is a sweet smell in every odorous explosion of life. The blast propelled Pierre head first into an open fishing hole in the ice, thus cooling off the various heated fleshy parts of his body and reducing the length and severity of his new round of recovery. Though his tongue swelled to Tennis Ball size he would soon be off to build a new Love shack with a more earth - and human-friendly heating system.
Fiona whose wax burnt lips provided her a new Angelina Jolie look, was a hit with much of the nursing staff and she got hours of time to watch her favorite programming. Oh yes an Anne Heche Movie marathon on this very week. Oh as they say...
Yes a British sci-fi...not necessarily comedy. He goes into a box like this...on the inside impossibly large space for the smaller outer dimensions, and travels all over the universe through time and space.
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