first step: visit a library or book store and read anything you can about lighting. generally one good book will be enough to get you started, but you will need to look at several until you find a book that suits your present level of knowledge and supports your interests.
some facts: brands will not matter as much as features. any company making monolights or pack lights for studio lighting will have a range of accessories. the things to consider besides cost and ease of use, will be portability and availability. while it is possible to buy every lighting gadget, it is not practical. look at the local shops and see what brands they carry and in their accessory selection, see what brands of flash units they support. if you can't get accessories locally that fit balcar or white lighting flash units, then it might not be a good idea to buy those brands of lights, or at least you know if you need something, you will be waiting for it in the mail or on the next FedEx truck at an outrageous premium.
here in Oklahoma USA, i use white lightning for the main lights because they are well made, the factory service is excellent, and the cost is acceptable. they accept accessories that were originally intended to fit on balcar lights, so the adapters and cords are pretty easy to find without having to order from the maker or from one of the big shops in New York or Chicago.
i would start with ONE good light, one sturdy light stand, and a medium or large softbox. and maybe a couple of umbrellas, a silver bounce umbrella, and a white one that can be used either for bounce or as a shoot-through diffuser.
for a first light a useful output is in the neighborhood of 250 to 400 watt-seconds. 2 examples that are pretty good values are the photogenic StudioMax 320, and the alienbees B800. the photogenic flash is part of a larger system that is availalbe most anyplace, the alienbees are available directly from the manufacturer. Alienbees are a value/hobbyist product line from the same compnay that makes White-Lightning flash units. again, they share a large system of accessories and they also can use most ubrella type accessories as any softbox or diffuser that can be attached with a balcar type speed ring. and both flash units are available for around $280.
the reason i don't suggest a bigger light is that most lights have alimited range of adjustment and if you have a 1000ws light that you can dial back to 1/32 of its full output, that is still over 30ws of power and up close in a small studio space that can still be overpowering if you are trying to use a big aperture for very shallow depth of field. so a smaller light with a reasonable range of power power output ends up being used a lot more.
the other thing i would suggest is a more important purchase than the lights themselves is a good light meter capable of flash measurement. if you shoot exclusively with a digital camera this might not be as critical since you cna use the histogram to see where the correct exposure is, but a good handheld light meter that can read flash and constant light, with the ability to take incident and reflected readings becomes very valuable when setting up multiple lights when you want a constant contrast ratio from one side of the subject to another. using sofboxes or shoot-through umbrellas, you can create a space where this ratio holds true and use that for couple pictures at events. you place people in the "trap" and take the shot ad never have to make additional adjustments to the camera or lighting once it is set for that session. just frame, focus, and shoot.
portrait lighting is different from what you will need for weddings. a bracket that separates your flash from the camera and a durable high powered flash will serve you quite well for most of wedding photography. where large stationary lights are useful is for the altar calls after the wedding to get all the groups of families and attendants. for this i like either 2 lights separated by a good distance equipped with silver umbrellas, or mid-sized softboxes with the inner baffles removed, or if you only have a single large light, the upbrella will usually work, but a special long skinny softbox called a 'strip-dome' is pretty handy. this is a way to make the coverage wide to cover the group well, but it keeps it restricted vertically so less light is wasted illuninating things that won't be in the image anyway.
i can try to answer other questions, but not knowing you current level of expertise, i don't want to waste your time prattling on in areas that would b of no interest or areas that are unfamliar enough that nothing i type will make sense.
again, for basic portraiture you will want one good light in a system you can expand. one sturdy light stand, 10 or 11 feet tall is a good place to start if you can afford it. you want a mid-sized softbox, 2 feet square is a minimum i would consider, a 2x3 foot is more useful. you will need a speedring to adapt the softbox to your particular brand of flash, and of course power cords and sync cords. seriously consider a radio flash trigger system. the flash willl have an optical slave that fires when the flash on your camera fires, but it also fires when uncle Waldo's pocket digital camera flash fires too. not only is this annoying, but it drains the flash so when you need it for that decisive moment, your flash is flat, still recharging after overexposing waldo's picture. get a couple of umbrellas to play with, they are the least expensive light modifiers and offer a lot of utility in a very compact and lightweight device. then put a teddy bear on the table and start playing with the stuff until you get a result you like that is repeatable. once you figure out the basics of how to use the lights, then consider a live subject, otherwise you are just wasting someone's time.
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