City - Plymouth State - MN Country - United States
About
I suppose I knew this would happen, but I was in denial for sometime. I woke up late one morning, not getting my usual wakeup nip from #5, to discover, my friend, my confidant, my comrade in terror, my licking partner, the one who made the stay in this cell tolerable... (long dramatic sigh)...was gone. No note, no passionate tussle goodbye, no nothing. It was just down to me and Puppy #10. Oh, pardon me, I mean Bentley, as my warden and wardeness decided to call him. Oh, the smug little turd. He knows he doesn't have to stay in the pen with us common criminals, no he has the run of the house. And why did they have to name he that, Bentley. Sure they claim its after something they call a "car", but I know they wanted to add insult to injury, forever reminding me that I accidently stepped on his tail and gave it a permanent crook. I said I was SORRY... for the love of Lassie!!
I could see no reason to go on, I was alone, bitter and with these four walls slowly but surely closing in. I would end it all with a head first dive into the Puppy Chow bag, eating Kibble til I OD'd. That'll show him.
Wait... whats that noise. Some humans I have never seen, and they're coming towards me. Did I ever tell you how much I have grown to like the kindness of strangers. Oh he's picking me up, he's rubbing my ears and my belly, he's cooing to me,... I love you Mr.Human, yes I do... look how docile and gentle I am, I'll never grow up to be a big slobbering pig like some puppies I know (hint hint Bentley), I'll never leave a calling card on your new carpet, and heaven forbid if I should ever eat your Sunday Pot Roast when you stupi...accidently leave the kitchen. No, no I'm not like the others. I will fetch the paper, and iron your socks and love u with all my #7 heart. What's that, you want to name me Cuddles...(dramatic gulp)... why that's the gayest nam... I mean I love to be your widdle cootchy cootchy Cuddlely wuddley (I may win an Oscar here folks). They want me, and I want them, but let me tell you I better get an email from number 5 or I'll find some French Poodle to replace the hole in my heart.
Goodbye for now dear Usefilm readers, I got a new home to wrec...enjoy
xxoo Puppy #7 aka Cuddles (OMG I don't know if I can stand it!!!((&^%%
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